Gunpowder Ablaze
by AtemuMustang
Summary: A run in with the homunculi has put Hawkeye at risk more than she wants to admit. Roy doesnt know how to cope with her behavior after the fact. Can he finally get her back to her normal strong state or let the homunculi scare her for the rest of her life? (HIATUS)
1. Chapter 1

"Don't you get it Hawkeye! They're after you dammit!" Mustang just couldn't seem to make his lieutenant to reason with him. "Are you even listening to me!"

"I am sir. I am hearing every word you are saying but for this one time, I do not agree." Riza narrowed her eyes at him and crossed her arms defiantly. /Doesn't he understand I can take care of myself? Even though this little... Incident... may have slowed me down a bit, doesn't mean he has to baby me like this./

"Then... Then...ugh! Hawkeye, quit being so stubborn!" Roy was just about to loose his temper with her. "You've never been like this before!"

Riza sighed and headed for the door madly. "I'm not stubborn sir... Just self-reliant." she slammed the door and stormed down the hall.

Roy sighed and flopped down in his chair in defeat. His hair covered most of his face while he sighed and clenched his fists tightly, trying his hardest not to set something ablaze. "Self-reliant my ass."

"You know sir, you could always try being a bit softer with her you know." The colonel jumped and yelped slightly at the voice.

"Havoc... Since when have you been in here?" He groaned and rested his forehead in his palm while he tried to concentrate on some of the over due paperwork that he had neglected to finish.

"We've all been in here sir..." Fuery blinked and exchanged glances with Breda and the rest of Mustang's closest officers.

Havoc turned his attention away from the men around the table and onto the Colonel "What's gotten into Hawkeye sir? I've never seen her so... Distraught-"

Roy stood up from his desk irritatedly and bared his teeth. "Don't ask Havoc! None of you ask! This is strictly confidential between a colonel and his lieutenant! Understood!" His eyes had turned a shade of red, just like the color of his deadly art of alchemy, just from the pure anger that had well up inside him. He wanted nothing more than to scream and torch them all in one quick snap.

All of his men's eyes widen in fear and looked taken back. "y-yes sir." Fuery managed out as the rest of them nodded in fear of enraging him any further.

"Good. Now get back to work." Roy sat back down, still fuming, and gathered the stray papers that had gone astray. /Damn Hawkeye! Why can't she listen to reason!/

• • •

Riza growled as she opened the door to her room. She stormed over to her bed and pulled out a dark grey padded box that had built up dust since the last time she'd touched it. Riza popped to two clasps that held it together and grabbed the two guns out of it, making sure that they were still in working condition. Black Hayate peered around the corner with his tail between his legs, his ears still somewhat perked in curiosity. Riza put the two guns down on the bed along with the one on her belt. She stood in front of her bed with her fists clenched tightly together and shaking in rage. He started towards her cautiously and slowly, the sound of his nails clicking on the floor made her flinch and look back.

"Hayate...?" Riza blinked and tried to make herself cool off. She laid the loaded clips to guns on the bed and leaned her back against it, sliding to the floor. Hayate whimpered and watched her closely as he got closer. /It's bad when your own dog is afraid of you... I guess I do need to calm down.../Riza bit her lip and clenched her eyes shut. She rested her head on her hand and brought her knees to her chest.

_/_Just cool down... Maybe a walk would help... Or going to the range... Ah who cares...?/ The black and white pup's body language saddened and trotted over next to her, putting his paws in her lap. Riza just smiled weakly and pet him behind the ears, watching his tail wag back and forth like mad from the attention. "Oh Hayate... You are so lucky at times..." she sighed and scooped him up in her lap. "No worries except to wonder when I get back to feed and walk you... No fear of people looking for you... No stress from higher ups trying to badger you about useless work and help."

Black Hayate stood up in her lap and put his paws on her chest for support as he licked her cheek. Riza smiled a bit and petted the pup's head.

• • •

Roy filed the rest of the paperwork he'd been able to finish and put it in his desk. "I'm clocking out early. Havoc... Keep an eye on things around here. If anyone asks I'm not feeling well." Havoc looked up at him oddly and nodded. Roy grabbed his coat off his chair and sighed before he walked out.

"Something's really bothering him... Any of you have an idea of what it could be? I hate seeing him like this." Furey watched the colonel leave and blinked.

Havoc and Breda exchanged glances and looked at the officer, just as curious. "It has to be something to do with the lieutenant. I mean, hell... When we asked, he blew up at us."

Fuery nodded and looked back down at his work in front of him. "Well, come to think of it... He has been nagging to Hawkeye about trying to help her or something."

Breda scratched his head and though for a long moment then sighed. "Seems like we have a new case on our hands." All of the men smiled determinedly and nodded in approval.

• • •

Roy stopped himself as he was about to knock on Hawkeye's door. /Dammit... What would I say if opened the door? I might as well just say forget it./ He sighed and lowered his hand.

"Colonel?" Mustang flinched and looked over his shoulder at the short blonde turning the corner. He ran his fingers through his hair and turned to face him.

"Fullmetal... What brings you here?" he said calmly trying to cover-up his angst that had just welled up in his throat.

"We were just stopping by to see the lieutenant." Al said through the armor that he was stuck with as a body at the moment. "Is there something wrong sir?"

Ed narrowed his eyes at the colonel and nudged Al in the side. Mustang started to sweat slightly and began getting jumpy.

"Um, no. Nothing's wrong. H-Hawkeye wasn't feeling well so I was going to check up on her. Nothing more nothing less." He started nervously as he rubbed the back of his head.

"Then we'll see her with you then, I mean... If that's ok..." Ed said slightly with a smirk about his face.

Roy about fainted then and there, his face instantly flushing of all color. /Can't I have five minutes with her alone for once?/

Hawkeye sighed and looked towards her door. "And they think I can't hear them out there...Idiots..." Hayate hopped off of her and let her stand up. Riza just shook her head and found the box that she transported her guns in to the range. She packed two of the guns in the box with the extra ammunition she used for practice. "You wanna come with me or stay with Havoc and Fuery while I'm gone?"

The pup yipped in excitement and grabbed his leash from the box of his things and ran back to her with his tail wagging. Riza took the leash from him and clipped it to his collar. She shut the gun box and picked it up heading for the door. Hayate followed at her side and pawed at the door, hardly able to contain himself.

"Calm down!" Riza eyed him, getting an instant wide-eyed sit from him. "That's better." She turned the door nob and opened the door. Black Hayate had the same unamused expression on his face as his owner.

Roy exchanged glances between all of them, getting even more nervous. He gave Riza an embarrassed smile and scratched the back of his head.

Ed and Al just tried their hardest not to laugh. "Look's like she's not sick after all Colonel..." Ed gave him an evil smirk while Al turned away to laugh.

Hawkeye just sighed madly and walked past all of them, her grasp tightening on the handle of the box and Hayate's leash.


	2. Chapter 2

Ch. 2

/The nerve!/ Riza glanced down at Black Hayate at her side and became even more enraged. /What was that fool doing at my door step anyways? What the hell did he want? Did he want to just badger me about helping me again or... Was it something important...?/ she sighed and walked back to Mustang's office where Havoc, Furey, and Breda where sitting in a huddle around a mound of files. /What on earth...?/

"Any of you think you can watch Black Hayate for me for an hour or so?" Riza said flatly as all of them jumped at her voice. Breda's eyes widened as Hayate came into his line of sight.

"Get that **thing** outta here!" He plastered himself to the wall shaking. Riza just shook her head and let the pup off his leash.

Fuery looked at Havoc and blinked. Hayate trotted over to him and yipped happily, his tail wagging back and forth quickly. "I-I can watch him for you Lieutenant." The dark haired officer scooped the pup in his arms and looked at Hawkeye worriedly then turned back to Havoc.

"Thank you Fuery. I won't be too long." Riza turned away with a polite nod and headed for the door.

"Hawkeye." Havoc stood up from his chair and blinked, his cigarette bobbing in his mouth. Riza turned to face him and looked at him oddly. "You ok Lieutenant?" He knew it probably wasn't the best question to ask at the time but something was telling him to ask.

Riza's temper began to rise again, her grip tightening even more on the handle of the gun box. She furrowed her brows a bit and straightened herself up. "I am fine Havoc. There is no need to ask such obvious questions." At that she turned towards the door frustratedly and walked out.

Black Hayate looked up at Furey from his arms. "I know Hayate... She has been like that for the past two days... Mustang has been the same way." He sighed and glanced back at Breda. "He won't hurt you."

"The worse thing he would do would be to lick you to death." Havoc grabbed one of the files off the top stack. "You know... Mustang is gonna burn us to death when he finds out we're doing this..."

Fuery adjusted his glasses slightly and looked at the blonde soldier in front of him as-a-matter-of-factly. "You mean 'if' he finds out." Hayate whimpered, slightly confused by it all. Breda tensed up even more hearing him.

"Breda... Please...Can't you just get over your phobia of dogs? Its not like they'll kill you or any-"

The heavier-set officer cute him off. "No! Th-those things are evil!"

• • •

Ed blinked and smirked at the colonel. "So... What's the big deal huh? Why she pissed?" He put his hands in his pockets and exchanged glances between Roy and his brother.

Roy sighed and looked at the blonde teen in front of him. "It's nothing you need to worry about. Why are you even here Fullmetal? Shouldn't you be in Risembool?"

Al looked down at his brother then at Mustang. "I-It's a long story sir-"

"We'd rather not go into it." Ed butted in, putting a hand on Al's chest plate. Roy blinked and nodded understanding that it was not his place to ask or know.

There was quite a long pause between them before anyone tried to break it. Roy looked around nervously and popped his knuckles with his thumb. "So... You boys found any new-"

"New leads to getting our bodies back? No. Why do you care?" Ed said sharply as they started down the hall in the direction Hawkeye had gone.

"I was just trying to start conversation kid. Calm down." Roy sighed heavily and kept running over the event that had happened to Hawkeye in his mind. / I just can't seem to grasp it... Why did they do that to her...? Its not like she has anything they want... Or are they just wanting to eat at me by hurting her?/ He put his hands in his pockets and watched the floor ahead of him intently as if the ground was going to jump up and grab him.

"Sir...? Are you alright?" Al's voice broke him out of his trance and looked up at him.

Roy looked at him questioningly. "What?"

"He asked if you were alright **Colonel**." Ed said sharply, making it sound as if Mustang was going deaf.

Mustang looked back at the floor in front of him and blinked. "I'm fine. Why do you ask?"

"You just don't seem your self." Al murmured a bit worriedly, getting an eat-shit glare from Ed as if saying, 'don't feel pity for the bastard!'.

Roy could tell where this conversation was about to lead so he quickened his pace, a bit faster than the brothers, and branched off out a door to the court yard. /Why do they always have to be so curious and so damn smart!/

• • •

Riza checked into the range and got a few targets to clip up. / At least I can get all of my anger out on this thing.../ She grabbed her gun box and walked into a private firing range. / No ones here... Good.../ She put the box on a chair and flipped it open. /9mm or the Beretta.../ Riza took both guns in her hands and felt of both of them, the Beretta being heavier and powerful. She smirked and put the wooden-handled 9mm back into the padded box.

"Long time no see old friend..." She murmured as she ran her fingers over the barrel of the Beretta lightly, the tips of them turning black with dust. / I love this damn thing.../ Riza grabbed a towel out of the box and wiped it off making its steel workings shine its true black gloss. She snapped its clip into place and cocked a bullet into the chamber.

"Well... Here goes nothin..." Hawkeye lined herself up with the target and raised her gun to it. She placed the very center of it into the sights of the Beretta and put her finger on the trigger. Riza smirked and fired through the whole clip of 14 bullets putting all of them near or in the target's center.

"Damn..." She exchanged glances between the target and gun in her hand, dumbfounded. / Since when am I so good with this thing?/ She grabbed the gun off her belt and looked at it then to the Beretta in the other. / Regulation won't let me carry this monster around... Its no different than the one the Military issued us... Its just... More... lethal.../

Riza sighed and fired through the clip in the other gun in her hand and laid both of them down. "And I can't aim worth a damn with this one..." She shook her head and put the Beretta back in its place in the box and looked at it for a long while. Without taking her eyes off of it, she reloaded the clip to her issued gun and put it back on her belt.

• • •

"First Lieutenant, Riza Hawkeye... We are gonna be in for it when Mustang gets back..." Breda took her file into his hand and looked at it. Havoc and Fuery exchanged eager glances and nodded for him to open it. Breda sighed and opened the file hesitantly, Hayate's collar tags clinking together making him flinch. He flipped through all the papers until he hit a thiner file within the file. "S-Sir...?" Havoc walked up beside him and took the thinner file out of his hands.

"Confidential... What the hell...?" Fuery glanced at the file and blinked at its holder.

"What's that supposed to mean?" he stuttered out. Havoc looked at both Breda and Fuery questioningly.

"Sh-should we?" He blinked and fiddled with the edge of the file. Both of the other officers nodded in agreement and looked back at him. "Here goes nothing..."

Havoc carefully removed the paperclip holding it together and memorized everything about the file and how it looked. He bit his lip and opened it up, his eyes instantly widening. "A medical report from the hospital... What...?"

Fuery looked at Breda worriedly and blinked. "W-What do you mean?"

The more Havoc read the more he felt his stomach clenching. "H-How did she...? W-Why...? Who did this to her!" He slammed the file down on the table and clenched his eyes shut tightly.

Hayate's head perked up and looked up at all of them. He whimpered slightly and stepped on Fuery's boot, pawing at it. The officer glanced down at the pup and picked him up, Breda not even paying attention. "What is it Havoc...?" Fuery managed out, holding the pup in his arms.

"Tell us Havoc." Breda blinked and looked at the officer. Havoc looked up at all of them, a look of sadness and fear filling his eyes.

"Sh-Sh-She was... She..." Havoc didn't even want to believe it. He didn't want them to know... He didn't want to know.

"Havoc... What's wrong with Hawkeye?" Breda looked at Fuery a bit scaredly, fearing the worst.

Havoc sat down and put his head in his palm. "Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye was brought into Amestris Central Hospital at 1:38 AM, February 18th, with severe lacerations throughout her body. Her wrists were warm and swollen and appeared to be bruised and scraped along the inner and outer wrist. Her jaw was heavily bruised with a few minor cuts on both upper cheeks. There was one deep gash above her right eyebrow near her hairline. Her torso was scattered with about 9 cm in circumference bruises, mainly near or on her sides and rib cage. Both hands and right side had been punctured by a knife like item, the wounds being slender and precise. Deep cuts covered most of her back, shoulders and upper to mid torso. Her neck was bruised as well as cut just like her cheeks and arms. There was a large gash on her upper thigh running from the outer side to about mid-thigh. She had heavy blood loss and was unconscious for 5 hours and 58 minutes. Amnesia was somewhat present for the first hour and a half she was awake. She had no memory of Colonel Roy Mustang, which had brought her in and stayed with her."

Breda and Fuery looked at Havoc and the forms in front of him in disbelief. There was a long silence between all of them, letting the information they had just learned sink in.

"Th-Then... How is she even up and walking in her state? Its only been 3 days since this happened..." Breda asked through the silence. Havoc and Fuery looked at him just as curious as he.

"What about what caused this? There's gotta be a report to this somewhere-" Fuery was cut off by a sheet of being shoved in his face. He took it in his hands and looked it over, his heart lurching in his chest.

"Sh-She was... Being... Tortured and tested on... In Lab...5...?" He stuttered out in disbelief and worry, his grip tightening on the pup in his arms.

"Look who signed it Fuery... None other than yours truly." Havoc went back through the thinner file and glanced over the other papers in it.

"Mustang signed it...?" The way the ink had smeared caught the officers eye. "His signature... It's smeared... And looks wet..." Fuery handed Breda the report and watched him.

Breda ran his fingers over the somewhat wrinkled smear and sighed. "If I didn't know any better... I'd say that it wasn't just water that smeared it... Feel it... Water doesn't make paper that stiff." He handed the paper back to Havoc and watched him file it back where it had been. Fuery held Hayate close to his chest and bit his lip.

"If I didn't know any better, I'd say it was tears that caused that..." Breda looked away and put his hands behind his head.

Havoc pulled out a few more reports on when and where but nothing substantial. He shakily put the file back together and put the paperclip over the edge where it had been before so that it's indention matched up with the pattern.

"Not a word or hint we know to Mustang or Hawkeye?" Havoc said warningly, getting an approving nod from both Fuery and Breda.

• • •

Roy made his way back inside and leaned up against the wall of the corridor. He ran his fingers through his pitch black hair and shut his eyes.

"Oh Hawkeye... Just come back... Please...? You don't need to be running around like this..." he mumbled to himself as he put his hand over his eyes and gritting his teeth.

• • •

/Out of amo... Damn./ Riza sighed and packed up her guns and clips in the box. "Get Black Hayate from Fuery and get back to my room..." she sighed and started out, her body beginning to ache slightly. Riza held her side and breathed in deeply at the pressure. /Calm down... You're fine Riza.../ She tightened her grip on the handle of the box and waved her goodbye to the officer at the check-in counter.

Hawkeye made her way outside and began to feel the full effect of her injuries. Though her hands were far from healed, they were not wrapped or covered, neither were any of the visible cuts or scrapes. She merely got them to seal up enough to put cover-up over them to make the redness go down. A dull aching pain began to sweep over her entire body.

"Oh god..." Riza stopped and put her hand on her head as if that would keep her from wobbling. She took a few deep breaths and shook her head. "Ok... Just keep moving..." She started slowly back towards the office with a slight limp which she was desperate to hide.

Riza sighed in relief as she made her way back inside, worn out. She walked past one of the corridors and stopped. "S-Sir...?"

Roy's head snapped up and let his hands fall to his side. "H-Hawkeye?" / god, you had me worried sick.../ He pushed himself off the wall and walked over to her side.

Riza looked away a bit in pain, not wanting to make eye contact with her superior. Her eyes were weak and she could tell.

"You are in pain aren't you...?" Roy looked at her worriedly and put a hand on her shoulder. She glanced at him quickly then clenched her eyes shut. "Let me help you Hawkeye... Please?"

Riza blinked and looked down at the floor, hating all of his constant nagging. "No. I am fine sir. I can manage. I just have to get Hayate from Fuery then I can go up to my barracks-"

Roy couldn't help but cut her off. "Let me get him for you." He blinked and looked at her sternly, as if wasn't an offer, but a command. He put his hands in his pockets and eyed her down.

Riza sighed and shook her head. "Fine if it will make you hush." She narrowed her eyes at him and started off again, her leg trying to buckle. "Dammit...!"

Roy grabbed her gun box quickly and put himself under her arm for support. "Don't push yourself like this Lieutenant!" / I can't afford to loose you! / Riza looked at him, surprised at first, but then shut her eyes.

"I thought I said I was fine sir..." She stood up the best she could and felt the newly sealed cuts pull, a small yelp escaping from her throat.

"Hawkeye... Just let me help you. Just this once..." Mustang put her arm over his shoulder and put his other around her injured side carefully. Riza looked down in defeat. / Why can't he just leave me be? What doesn't kill you makes you stronger right? Consider this training.../ She sighed and shook her head, giving a signal to move. Roy looked at her in relief and started off slowly with her down towards the barracks.

"I'll get you up to your room then I'll go get Black Hayate alright?" He looked at her, though she wasn't looking back. Her gaze was focused on the floor in front of her, clearly embarrassed to be asking for help.

"Do as you wish sir." she said emotionlessly. Roy couldn't help but feel bad. Hurting her in any way shape or form just tore his insides apart. He felt as if he was ripping her pride right out of her.

"Just get back to your room alright...? I'll bring Hayate up and leave you two be." He watched her nod slightly and sigh.

The two made it up to her room without any problem other than her becoming weaker to say the least. Riza reached into her pocket and felt around for her keys. She winced as she had to move her side to get to them. Gritting her teeth she unlocked the door and opened it. / I hate this! I can do this by myself Mustang! Just let me do it myself! /

Roy walked her in and put her gun box by the table. "Sit down somewhere and don't move till I get back with Hayate."

Riza nodded and broke away from him. "Not until I get my guns cleaned... I can't leave them this nasty." Roy opened his mouth to protest but stood in the doorway quietly. Hawkeye held her side and straightened herself up the best she could. / Don't let him think you are hurt. Just bare through the pain...! / She went into her cabinet and grabbed her gun cleaning supplies and a tub of water. Riza glanced at Mustang and sat down at the table beside the gun box.

"You know sir... I'm not at helpless as you think-"

"You were hurt under my watch and I cannot forgive myself for that! You are hurting and its because of me so by god you will do as I say until you are completely recovered!" Roy snapped and balled his fists. "I was there and I wasn't able to help you. Its enough punishment to you, but me...? I had none when I needed it... You are hurting and I know it Hawkeye. Don't try to act it. Your eyes gave you away along with your stiffness. No one else sees it but... I do."

Riza just sat dumbfounded and in utter shock of her superior's outburst. / What do you say to something like that? There's really nothing.../ She took the guns out of their box and off of her belt.

"I won't move sir. I promise." Hawkeye began taking apart her issued gun and the Beretta.

Mustang eyed the darker weapon and sighed. "I'll be right back. Don't you dare do anything stupid." Riza nodded, not looking up from her gun she was taking apart.

Roy nodded once and started out, shutting the door behind him. "Damn Hawkeye... You stubborn woman..." He shook his head and walked down the hall towards his office.

• • •

Havoc, Breda, and Fuery fumbled to put the files back into Mustang's desk hearing the door nob turn.

"What if its him! We're all toast!" Fuery scrambled to get the drawer to shut as the door creaked open.

Havoc and Breda sat down and tried to look as natural as possible, Fuery hiding under Mustang's desk. Hayate blinked and looked at the door, his tail wagging quickly.

Roy sighed and walked into his office, greeted by an over excited Black Hayate at his feet.

"Hey there boy..." He squatted down and scratched the pup behind the ears. Roy could feel the tension in the room and scooped Hayate up in his arms. "What's up with you guys? Where's Fuery?"

Havoc took a deep breath and tried to relax. "It's nothing sir... Fuery... Not sure where he ran off to... Why? Should something be wrong?"

"Yeah... We were just finishing up and about to head out. It's almost time to go anyways..." Breda blinked a bit jumpily and glanced over the papers in front of them then to the clock on the wall.

Mustang looked at both of them a bit suspiciously and nodded to them. "Well, tell Fuery when he gets back that I have Hayate. Don't want him to freak out now." He pat the pup's side and smiled slightly.

"But... Why isn't the Lieutenant getting him? She dropped him off about an hour and a half ago." Havoc blinked and looked between the dog and his superior.

Mustang's heart began to speed up at the question and looks he was getting from the two. "Uh-um... She's not feeling well. I-I told her I would grab Hayate for her." He rubbed the back of his head nervously and gave a smile to match. "Anyways, gotta go!" Roy waved quickly and shot off back towards Hawkeye's room, Hayate clinging onto him for dear life. The poor pup's eyes with wide with terror.

Fuery let out a sigh of relief and crawled out from underneath the desk. "God that was close..."

Breda and Havoc both did the same and looked at the officer. "Tell me about it!" they both said in unison.

• • •

Roy opened Hawkeye's door and let Hayate down out of his arms. Riza looked up from her gun that she was cleaning. Mustang leaned up against the door way and and panted, trying desperately get his breath back.

"Sir... You alright?" She put down her gun and began to stand up. Mustang raised a hand quickly, motioning her to sit. He looked up at her, breathing as if he'd just run a marathon.

"I'm fine." He walked in and shut the door behind him and leaned up against it with his hand over his eyes. "Breda and Havoc are getting suspicious... I can feel it. I about blew it by going in and getting Hayate. I said you weren't feeling well."

Riza blinked and looked back at the Beretta in her hand. "Well... It's not too much of a lie." She placed the pieces of the gun in the tub of water and let them soak. "Sit down sir... Don't be such a stranger..."

Hayate laid down beside Hawkeye's chair and groaned as he stretched out. Mustang looked at her and sat down across from her. He couldn't help but notice the little redness on the cuts on her face peeking through the make-up she had covered them with. "You know... That's a great way to get them infected."


	3. Chapter 3

Riza put her hand over the cut on her cheek and looked away. "They are fine sir. I keep them cleaned out-"

Roy just watched her amusedly. "And cleaning out nearly brand new cuts and gashes with a rough rag and just water won't get them infected..." He smiled slightly at her and blinked.

Riza moved her fingers over the cut on her cheek and winced a bit. / I guess he is right in this situation... But don't let him know that! He doesn't need a lousy lieutenant looking after him.../ She sighed and continued wiping down the handle of the Beretta, the rag beginning to get black gunpowder in it's fibers.

Mustang watched her carefully, trying to figure out how she remembered how to take apart and reassemble nearly any gun she was given. "Just how exactly did you end up with that Beretta Lieutenant? You know you can't carry those things-"

"I am well aware of that sir. I just thought I would try my luck with something other than the issued one." Riza cut him off and dried off the barrel that had been soaking in the water. Roy blinked and looked at her a bit taken back. "It was an old thing I treated myself too a while back. I had had enough of the issued 9mm so I bought this one."

Mustang sighed lightly and glanced at Hayate who was pawing at his leg, wanting none other than attention.

"Is it alright to let him up on my lap at the table?" Roy smiled at the pup and looked back at Hawkeye.

"Sure, just as long as there isn't food at the table I'm fine." Riza smiled a bit and dried off all the pieces of the guns. She laid them all out on a towel and started piecing and parting them together.

Roy's eyes lightened as he picked the pup up and set him in his lap. Hayate wagged his tail and looked back at him happily. Roy smiled and held the pup's chest so he wouldn't fall while he scratched behind his ears. "I'm kinda sad I didn't take him now."

Riza watched them and smiled. / Sometimes he can be flat out adorable.../ She started screwing all the screws into place in the handle of her issued gun. "I'd let you have him for a week but I need someone around."

Mustang stopped and looked at her. "It gets lonely around here... Its kinda fun coming back to someone that's always glad to see you after a long day." Riza cocked the barrel of the gun back in place then started on the Beretta and putting it back together. Roy didn't really know how to respond.

"Yeah... I'm sure its nice..." Hayate looked back at him happily and yipped, his tail wagging.

"I think he wants you to play with him sir..." Riza laughed a bit and screwed the last of the screws in place on the Beretta. Hayate flipped himself around and put his paws on Roy's chest.

Roy smiled at the pup and petted his head. The pup started licking his face, getting a few good laughs out of the man holding him. "H-Hey! St-stop it!" Roy couldn't help but continue laughing. Riza finished with the Beretta and sat it down watching them both.

"Why don't you go play with him sir? Obviously he wants you to. Not me." she smiled and started putting her gun cleaning supplies back into their correct places in the box.

"I-I will if he qu-quits licking me!" Mustang could hardly speak, almost getting frenched by the pup.

"Hayate... Don't lick him to death..." Hawkeye eyed the pup and snapped her fingers by her side. The pup hopped off of Roy's lap and sat at her side watching her intently. "Good. Now will you be a good boy and play fair with the Colonel?"

Black Hayate howled his approval and wagged his tail. Riza patted his side and looked at Roy. "Hope you're ready for this one sir."

Roy got up and looked at Riza like she was out of her mind. "No dog will get the best of me Lieutenant!"

"Hayate. Get him." Riza just looked at the pup at her side then up at Roy blankly. Before Roy could move, Hayate jumped on his chest, knocking him backwards to the floor. "Told you sir..."

Hayate wagged his tail and looked down at Roy. "Damn dog-" The pup began licking his face again and around his ear. "H-Hawkeye! C-Call off your d-dog!"

"Hayate... Play fair now..." Riza smiled and watched them, trying her hardest not to laugh. Hayate pouted a bit and let Roy sit up. Roy wiped his face off with his sleeve and made a face from the taste of dog in his mouth.

"I stand corrected about him... Keep him." He managed out. The pup looked at him and wagged his tail hopefully. "Fine. I'll play with you..."

Riza perked up a bit and leaned forward to see over the table. / The colonel... Playing? Oh I gotta see this.../ She tossed him a pull rope from out of Hayate's toy box and laughed quietly to herself.

Roy caught it and watched as the pup's eyes lit up with excitement. He smirked and tossed it from hand to hand, Hayate's eyes following the ropes every movement. Roy tossed it up in the air but caught it and hid it behind his back, the pup's expression shifting to worry. "Where'd it go huh?" Roy laughed softly and flicked the rope behind him, a bit of it showing. Hayate's ears perked up and leaped over his legs sniffing behind him looking for his toy. Roy snatched it away from his back and hid it under his leg. "I don't have it." He showed the pup his bare hands, trying not to laugh. Hayate blinked and walked around him, sniffing every little crevice until he came to his leg. Roy bit his lip trying not to laugh at the poor confused pup. Hayate pawed at his leg and pressed his nose under it trying to get at the rope. Roy lifted his leg just enough to grab the rope from the other side. He pulled it away and lifted his leg, Hayate shooting underneath and grabbing the other side of the rope. "Haha! Got it didn't you? We'll see about that!" Roy shook the rope back and forth, the pup's tail wagging. "Well come on... Take it from me!"

Riza's eyes about popped out of her head. / He's... Actually playing with him... I never thought I'd see the day.../ Hayate growled a bit and pulled at the rope in Roy's hand. Mustang whipped the pup and the rope around on the hardwood floor, Hayate not having any traction. Hayate tightened his hold on the rope and narrowed his eyes at him. Roy started laughing at his expression and just tugged at the rope. The pup growled and yanked the rope one good time, sending him and the rope tumbling away. Roy smirked and crawled after him. "Hey! Come back here you!" He laughed as the pup started running with the rope. "Fine... You win dog..." Roy laid back on his back and sighed tiredly. "You have one insane dog Hawkeye."

Riza smiled and looked at him sprawled out on the floor. She chuckled a bit and forced herself to her feet, Roy immediately sitting up in fear. "Hawkeye! Sit!"

"I'm not a dog sir...and I didn't hear you say anything about not moving while you are here." Hawkeye grabbed the box of cleaning supplies and put it back in her cabinet.

Roy blinked and watched her intently. / Its just like that night... She didn't want me to help her...and this happens.../ He pushed himself to his feet and walked up behind her, putting a hand on her shoulder.

"Riza..." Hawkeye flinched and snapped her head to the voice behind her. / He rarely calls me by my first name... What on earth...?/ Roy sighed and caressed her shoulder softly, fearful he would hit a cut or gash. "You don't have to do this alone..."

Riza glanced at him over her shoulder and then to his hand. "I know that sir..."

"Then let me help you." Roy's voice almost cracked. He tightened his grip on her shoulder and looked at her. Riza looked away from his eyes and shut her own.

"Sir... I can survive. What has been done has been done. Neither of us can turn back time and stop it from happening." She turned her head away and shut the cabinet door.

Roy couldn't find anything to say or think. "Riza...I..." She glanced back at him questioningly and blinked. He looked at her sadly and moved his hand off of her shoulder and to his pocket.

Riza's eyes widen in fear. Something in her mind was telling her to run but her body was paralyzed. The way he'd moved sent her mind into a terrified fit.

_..."N-No! Don't hurt her! She has done nothing to you!" Roy cried out as he watched them cuff and whip his subordinate. Tears welled up in his eyes hearing the crack of the whip over her body, wanting none other than to tell them to take him instead. / You have beat her enough! You have stabbed blade through her hands and kicked her down! Leave her alone! Let her go!/ _

"_Watch lover boy... Here comes the best part!" the man pinning him to the ground pulled his head up by his hair, forcing him to watch the scene unraveling in front of him. _

"_Envy... You monster! Leave her alone! What do you want with her!" Roy growled at him, struggling to get free from his grasp. / Riza... Oh god... No! / _

_Riza glared at the female homunculus in front of her, panting. Her bottom lip was bleeding from one side, as well as the deep gash above her eye. / What do they want from me...? I can't do anything for them.../ The homunculus extended her claws and lifted Riza's chin with one of them, leaving a small but scaring cut on it. _

"_You'll be a good girl and cooperate won't you...?" Riza felt blood trickle into her eye, causing her to shut it. / Damn bitch... Lust... Damn you.../ Lust grabbed her by the throat and pinned her against the wall. Riza kicked at her trying to free herself from her grasp, only to receive a tighter hold around her neck. / Let go of me! / _

"_Don't even" Lust stabbed her claws through Riza's side. "try it. You aren't going anywhere." _

_Riza could hardly breathe. She was wide-eyed in fear, her body finally registering what just happened. _

_Roy's heart lurched hearing her wail. He tried to look away, only to get his arm twisted behind his back. He let out a small cry of discomfort and pressed his forehead against the ground in an attempt at getting up. "Don't even try it Pony-boy. Its useless! Just like you in the rain! She's gonna pay for your stubbornness for not helping us. See? This is what happens when you refuse to work with us. All because you want to be stubborn!Get over it!" _

_Roy's eyes widened at Envy's words, his body going limp at the truth. His head snapped up hearing another wail. Tears rolled down his cheeks, his breath hitching. _

_Riza's heart began to race even faster at the sight of Lust's hand going behind her. The homunculus brought out a needle filled with a red liquid and looked down at her. "Don't worry... We are just trying out a new idea of ours... Take the unrefined liquid stone and inject it straight into a human soul to see if we can make a real stone...simple as that." _

_Riza began to pant at the sight of the large needle coming straight for the vein on her arm. / N-No... D-Don't! Please! No!/ _

_Roy saw the needle and started to panic even more. "Leave her alone!" He felt a hand cover his mouth roughly._

"_Shut up and watch! I want to let you hear her cries of pain!" Envy smirked and tilted Mustang's head back forcing him to open his eyes. _

_Lust smirked and jabbed the needle into Riza's arm. Hawkeye yelped and shut her eyes tightly. / I don't want to die! Not in front of Roy... Especially like this! No! Not like this... Please!/ Her mouth dropped open in pain feeling the thick liquid being forced into vein. _

"_How do you like our idea...? It should work... If it doesn't we just lost a rough stone. No side effects either..." _

_Riza wailed and arched her back in pain. Tears fell from the sides of her eyes, her teeth clenched together tightly. / It burns! Stop it! No! It's like having gunpowder in your arm and somebody setting it on fire and letting it explode!/ "Stop it!" her cry echoed through the whole lab. Riza couldn't hold it in any longer. Her body wreathed in pain and fear. "Stop it!"..._

"Riza... What is it?" Roy's heart began to race fearing he'd hurt her. Riza plastered herself against the counter, her eyed wide with fear. "Riza!" He went to lay a hand on her, only to hear a terrified yelp from her. /What is going on...? Did I do something?/

"G-Get away!" Riza's terrified state left her shaking in fear, her heart racing panic-stricken. "Get away from me!"

Roy looked at her watery, scared eyes. / I've never seen her like this... What the hell is wrong...?/ "Riza... Calm down... Its me, Roy! Stop! I'm not going to hurt you!"

"Th-They... They're going to come after me... They are after me!" Riza cried out and sank to the floor, bringing her knees up to her chest and putting her hands over her head. Roy knelt down in front of her and grabbed her wrist and pulled her hands away from her head. "Riza!"

Riza pulled against him and cowered, her whole body shaking. Her eyes filled with tears and let her arms go limp. Roy loosened his grip and looked at her. "Riza... You're fine..." He let go of her wrist and entangled his fingers with hers. "Riza...?"

Riza let a few tears escape her eyes and rested her head on her other hand. Her hand clasp around his tightly, all of her walls instantly falling and crumbling. Roy held her hand with his other and caressed hers gently, the unhealed piercing through her hand beginning to bleed slightly.

"Don't cry... You're fine..." He said in almost a whisper. "Riza... You don't have to worry...nothing is going to hurt you." Roy felt her loosen her grasp on his hand and whimper slightly.

Riza looked up at him with eyes filled with tears and fear, her bangs covering most of her face.

"Come on..." Roy started to stand up and pull her up with him. Riza tightened her grasp on his hand and pulled him back down.

"No..." She whimpered out. "Don't go..." Roy blinked and looked at her oddly.

"Riza, I'm not going anywhere till you are calmed down." He grabbed her other hand and looked at her. "Let's at least sit somewhere. The floor isn't all too comfortable."

Riza sniffed and nodded, her mind starting to slow down to her old self slightly. Roy stood up and helped her to her feet. He let her sit at the table and let go of her hands, her blood covering his own. / That's it. She is gonna hate me for it.../

"Sit still. I'm not going anywhere alright?" Roy looked at her, getting a small nod from her. He found a small but shallow tub and filled it a quarter way with water. "Are you ok Hawkeye? You seem to have calmed down."

Riza looked up at him a bit startled. "Y-Yes sir." She looked down at her bleeding hand and winced at the sight. Roy watched her from the sink sadly. /Yeah... She's fine... Now where is that hydrogen-peroxide.../ He set the tub of water aside and went into her bathroom and under her sink.

"Peroxide... Peroxide... Ha. There it is." he grabbed the dark brown glass container labeled with it and went back into the room with Hawkeye. / She is gonna hate me for this... But, its for her own good. God knows she's got all sorts of dirt and gunpowder in them.../ He poured the peroxide in the water to where it was three parts peroxide and one part water. He grabbed it and sat next to Riza with it in front of her. She glanced at him confusedly and then at the tub.

"Put your hands in it. I'm tired of seeing them bleed like they are. Once you are done with that, I'll wrap them." Roy nudged the tub closer to her and blinked. Riza looked down and put her hands in the water. She fought to keep them in it long enough to clean the puncture wounds out. Riza clenched her eyes shut tightly and whimpered quietly to herself. Roy laid a hand on her shoulder and watched her. "I'll get the bandages. Under your sink right?"

Riza nodded and hissed. "Y-Yes sir." Roy got up and found the first aid kit under the sink. He grabbed the bandages and came back and sat down next to Hawkeye. Riza looked up at him and blinked questioningly. "C-Can I-?"

Roy grabbed a clean towel and held out his hand. He nodded and smiled slightly at her. Riza didn't hesitate to take her hands out of the water and into his hands. He lightly ran the towel over the wound on both sides of her hands and looked at them. / Those damn bastards... Why couldn't they have just done this to me instead...?/

Riza looked away from him and down at the floor. "I-I'm sorry sir."

Roy looked at her and grabbed the wrap. "What...? What for? There's nothing to be sorry for." He took one of her hands in his and started wrapping it.

"No. There is. I lost control of myself sir. I am greatly sorry-"

Roy jerked the bandage and snapped. "There is nothing to be sorry for lieutenant! Stop thinking there is! Got it?" Riza yelped a bit and looked at him.

"Y-Yes sir." She looked away from his eyes, mad at herself for letting him baby her like this.

Roy loosened the bandage and finished wrapping it. He took her other in his hand and started on it. "You don't have to be so formal all the time Riza. Roy is just fine." he said softly, not taking his eyes off of her hand.

Riza looked at him and opened her mouth to protest, but nothing came to her mind to say. She simply nodded and shut her eyes. Roy finished her hand and let it out of his hand gently.

"You haven't cleaned out any of the others have you?" He moved himself to see her face. Riza opened her eyes to look at him

"No sir. No sir, I haven't." She stated simply through a sigh.

Roy shut his eyes and shook his head. "Not even the bandages?" Riza shook her head and looked away. "You need to do at least the big ones. If you won't I will."

• • •

"Dammit Al... I thought we already gave this damn report to the Lieutenant..." Ed dropped his head and walked beside his brother down the halls.

"We didn't brother. I'm sorry. I forgot to give it to you." Al dropped his head and followed the short blonde down to Mustang's office.

"Isn't it time for them to get off? I mean... it's past 7:30..."

Al shook his head and took the report from him. "You just don't want to see the colonel don't you? Can't you just give him a break. He looks like he is having a rough time-"

Ed's eye twitched in irritation. "Don't give that colonel bastard any sympathy! Damn bastard with a god-complex!"

"Brother please! That's enough! If you won't take it to them then I will!" Al started back towards the office and huffed. "You and your short temper...!"

• • •

Havoc grabbed his coat off the hook at the door and tossed Breda his. "Not a word to Mustang or Hawkeye, got it?"

Fuery nodded and slipped on his coat. "I just hope she's ok. I mean... Something like that is scarring."

"Knowing the lieutenant, she'll be fine... Yet..." Breda draped his coat over his arm and scratched the back of his head.

Ed ran after his brother scowling. "Why do you have to be on his side Al? I mean, com'on!" He caught up beside him at the office door.

Al shushed him by putting his hand in his face. "Al-!"

"Shush! Someone said something about the lieutenant..." Ed immediately went silent and struggled to hear.

"What's going to be hard is not trying to help her out. You saw what she did to Mustang."

"I know what you mean but, we can't just let her hurt herself any worse. She was being tested on for crying out loud Havoc!"

"I understand that but we can't let Mustang know we know."

"Can't we just... Do some of her work for her? Why don't we stay after today and-"

"Fuery... No. I'm tired and want some sleep. Havoc and I both."

"Breda... Havoc... Don't you have any sympathy for her? She was nearly beaten to a pulp and then forces herself to work three days later...! Fine! I'm staying and helping her out. You two leave... Fine by me!."

Ed exchanged glances with Al, both flinching as the door swung open. They straightened themselves up and smiled embarrassedly at Havoc and Breda.

"Ed, Al? What are you doing here?" Havoc blinked and eyed them both.

"We had a report that we forgot to bring in for the lieutenant." Al put in before Ed could speak. Ed grumbled and crossed his arms.

"Well give it to Fuery. He's trying to clear off the colonel's desk for once." Breda said acting out everything the best he could. Havoc nodded in agreement and put his hands in his pockets.

"Well see you boys later. Come on Breda..." Havoc nudged him and started walking off.

"Y-Yeah. See you guys. Wait up!" Breda followed after him and waved at the brothers from behind.

Ed blinked and looked at Al. "Alright... I'm curious now..." He walked into the office and looked around for Fuery.

"Fuery...? Why are you staying late?" Ed crossed his arms and walked up behind him. Fuery jumped at his voice and looked up at him.

"Just trying to get some work done." He felt himself heat up at the lie. Ed looked at him unamusedly.

"Where's the lieutenant? I've got a report for her." The blonde exchanged glances between him and his brother.

Fuery tensed up. "Last I heard she wasn't feeling well so Mustang let her go back to her barracks." He smiled at them and scratched the back of his head embarrassedly.

"Really? You sure about that? I saw her storm off towards the firing range-"

"What! She went to the firing range? She shouldn't be doing that in her condition-!" Fuery instantly covered his mouth.

"Her condition... What do you mean? Is she hurt?" Ed eyed him and smirked to himself. / Damn I'm good.../ Al looked at his brother and stood beside him. Ed sat down on the desk in front of the officer and looked at him.

Fuery couldn't take it any longer. "Hawkeye was being tortured and tested on in lab 5 and was beaten up really bad! She was out for nearly 6 hours and couldn't remember anything when she woke up! Its only be three days since this all happened!" He said quickly, all in one breath.

Ed and Al blinked and looked at him. Fuery ran to Mustang's desk and pulled out Hawkeye's file and the thinner file with in it. "Here. It's all here." He handed Ed the file and sat back down and put his head on the desk. "Don't tell anyone or we are cooked..."

Ed read over the file, his eyes widening as he came to the medical reports. / How the hell...?/ He handed it to Al for him to read it over. Al's reaction was just as bad as Fuery's. He put the file back together and handed it back to the officer. Fuery put it back in his superior's desk and looked at the brothers.

"Not a word?" he struggled out. Ed and Al nodded and sat down.

"Hand us some of that paper work. I know what you are doing Fuery... We want to help. Riz-uh... Hawkeye has been like a mother to us. It's the least we can do. Right brother?" Al glanced at Ed and picked up a pen. Ed nodded determinedly and did the same. Fuery smiled at both of them hopefully and handed each of them a stack of papers.

"Let's see if we can get it all done. I don't want her working all too much. I know Mustang doesn't." He sighed and started on the four huge mounds of papers in front of them.


	4. Chapter 4

Riza sighed madly and dropped her head. "Fine. Do what you want sir." Roy crossed his arms and looked at her.

"Look Riza, I don't know why you are so distraught about me helping you but I'm not leaving until this is done. The hospital staff did it for you while you were there last night but you need to do it as well." / God... I feel like her getting after me and the paperwork... I just hope I'm not this bad.../ Roy motioned for her to stand which she did, but painfully. He didn't make a move to help her knowing she would refuse his help.

Riza hissed a bit and felt all the wounds pull and rip slightly. "Dammit...!" she squeaked out, trying her hardest not to be heard. Roy walked to her side and put his hand on hers.

"I can see where you don't want me to help you with these but if you won't do them, I will without hesitation." He paused and bit his lip. "I just can't afford to loose you. You are too important...plus... I made a promise to your father on his dying breath to look after you. I can't let the man that taught me everything he has, down."

Riza looked at him and blinked, her eyes softening. She held her side and swallowed the lump that had formed in her throat. "Y-Yes sir."

"Riza... You don't have to be so formal all the time. Just call me Roy. Please." Roy smiled at her and tugged her arm a bit. "Let's just get the bandages changed."

Riza nodded and started towards her bedroom, slipping her hand out of his grasp. She looked over her shoulder at him from the door frame. Hayate followed her, his tail wagging in curiosity. Riza glanced up at the clock once before she disappeared into the room. / Its nearly 8 and he isn't gone... N-No! Mind... Get out of the gutter. He wouldn't do that... But... He's being too nice... Yet... He's always like that when we're alone. A-Am I falling for the Colonel...?/

"I'll grab the bandages and peroxide. Do what ever you need to get ready for it." Roy called as he grabbed all the bandages from the first aid kit under the sink along with a few rolls of gauss.

Riza sighed and shut her eyes. / This is going to be rough... I can already tell. / She unbuttoned her uniform jacket and slid it off carefully, her side ripping as she moved her shoulder back. / Dammit...!/ She held back a wail and sighed in relief as she got it off and laid it on the bed.

"If that hurt like it did..." She looked down at skin-tight dark brown turtle neck she was wearing, the thick bandages having a distinct outline on her side. "Then this is going to hurt even worse..." Riza took a deep breath and bit her lip before she began to try to peal the top off of herself.

Roy couldn't help but watch her. / Damn I have to stop... But damn.../ His heart lurched as he started to see the full extent of the wound on his subordinate's side. The main bandage covered from the top of her hip to the base of her rib cage. Blood had already tried to seep through the nearly inch think bandage and outer wrap. "My god..." he mumbled to himself, his breath hitching.

Riza let out a small yelp of pain as she pulled the turtleneck over her head, her arms having to stretch over her head, pulling at her side. She breathed through tightly gritted and bared teeth, her eyed tightly sealed by a small rim of tears.

Roy's eyes widened seeing how beaten she truly was. Her whole torso was wrapped, all the way up to the base of her neck. Blood stained the parts where the cuts and gashes were inflicted upon her, some places still moist from them bleeding through. Both shoulders were stained with a dark red along with three nearly perfectly straight lines across her back. Her arms were wrapped the same way, her forearm's bandages already being soaked through by blood. "Riza..."

Riza shut her eyes and held her arms to her chest. "I'm ready sir." Her voice trembled slightly and as she bit her lip, her head dropping to her chest.

Roy blinked and threw the towel that they had used earlier over his shoulder. He took a deep breath before grabbing the bandages and peroxide. "Now how are we going to go about getting all those bandages off of you?" he said as he walked in and set the gauss and bandages down on the bed.

Riza didn't dare move, a part of her almost scared of being this exposed and weak around her superior. "Just unravel them sir. I wouldn't advise cutting them. You may catch a piece of in the blade and snip it by accident." Her voice was blank, barely any emotion showing through. She hid that fact that she was timid in her state and fearful of the pain that would soon be upon her.

Roy looked at her sadly and nodded. He hesitantly put a hand on her back and worked it around her side, feeling around for the end of the bandage. "Do you remember where they ended it?" He got down on his knees and looked closer at the bandages.

Riza's breath was shaky, his light touch on her making her shiver. "I-I think on my left side. They tried to keep away the wound on my right as much as they could." She clenched her fists tighter together, her stomach beginning to turn flips.

Roy nodded and ran his hand over her side lightly, careful of a few places that had thicker bandaging. A small bump in the wrap made him stop and feel of it more to see if it was indeed the end.

Riza's breath hitched, her heart beginning to stutter. / He's only changing bandages... Calm down Riza... Calm down... But... Why am I reacting the way I am? I'm acting as if it hurts... But it doesn't.../ She exhaled quietly, Roy looking back up at her scared he'd done something wrong.

"Are you alright...?" He tugged at the little clump of wrap as the end of it popped out of the over-laying wrap above it. Roy blinked and held still feeling her breathing almost become a soft pant.

Riza jumped at his voice and looked down at him. "I'm fine sir. J-Just a sensitive spot. That's all." The lie made her heat up even more.

"I'll try to avoid it as much as possible then." Roy slowly started to unravel the bandage, one round at a time and balling it up in his hand. "Tell me if I hurt you alright?"

Riza nodded and kept her eyes shut. / This is just so... Odd feeling... It feels as if he is stripping me or something.../ She sighed and tried to relax, her self-consciousness trying to over take her. Riza felt the bandaging loosening around her, air finally able to get to the skin underneath it all. It left indentions in her skin, criss-crossing every inch or so.

Roy unraveled just enough of the bandage to expose the wound on her side and carefully started taking the gauss off of it. Riza's whole body tensed up feeling the flesh that had tried to heal through the gauss being ripped apart. She leaned down and held onto the footboard of the bed tightly. Roy stopped and looked at her apologetically.

"I'm sorry it hurts..." He looked down at the her battered side and winced himself. / And this is just the outside... Oh god... I can't do this to her. It would be too painful for her... But it has to be done.../ The wound itself had begun to try to heal near its center around the gauss, the small fibers entangling with new sensitive flesh. Roy sighed and put a hand on hers worriedly and somewhat timid. /The last thing I want to do is to hurt her.../

"This is going to hurt... I'm not going to lie to you." His voice was soft but inlayed with fear and angst. Riza furrowed her brow and nodded.

"I know sir. I-I can tell from what little you have done."

Roy squeezed her hand once before going back to working the gauss out of the wound. Riza felt a knot form in her throat from the pain. / It's nothing compared to when he burned my back... Just remember that... This is nothing in comparison... I didn't flinch then, I won't now./ She could feel her flesh being ripped apart and the unease in Mustang's hands. The were nearly shaking, fearful of hurting her any more than she had. Riza suddenly didn't feel a thing except the slight pull of the loosely woven fabric being carefully pealed away. / He must be at the center... No nerves have grown back yet... I guess its a good thing.../

"There... I got it..." She glanced down at him stiffly and blinked. Roy stood up and tossed the wad of blood soaked gauss into the trash and looked at her. "Didn't hurt too bad did it?"

Riza looked down and nodded. "I have to clean it now... You ok enough for me to do that?" Roy grabbed the towel and peroxide, each in a different hand.

Her eyes shot back up to his and blinked. "Y-Yes sir." Riza kept her hands on the footboard and walked back a bit, her back flattening out horizontally. She shut her eyes and dropped her head between her arms preparing herself for the harsh stinging that would soon hit her full force.

Roy's eyes widened, following every curve and line of her body from head to toe. He couldn't help but gawk slightly at the sight of his subordinate in such a position. Her back was dipped just enough to force her hips slightly upwards and stretch her legs out nearly straight but spread far apart in trying to steady herself. Something about her just in the bottom half of the military uniform with her chest just barely covered was appealing to him. Her somewhat panting and sweating face didn't help the fact either. He felt himself harden slightly, a slight soft gasp escaping his throat. / Dammit Roy! She's your trusted subordinate! Nothing more nothing less! Get you head on straight!/ He took a deep breath and positioned himself behind her hips awkwardly and wrapped his arm, with the towel, under her mid-section and carefully put it under the wound.

Hawkeye's eyes flew open feeling him behind her, especially with an arm wrapped around her near waist. A slight blush came over her cheeks as her heart began to slowly pick up speed. /Sir... What on earth...?/

"You ready? I'm about to pour it." Roy wasn't in much better shape himself. Beside his groin beginning to ache slightly, the position itself was about to set him off. Him being right handed didn't help the situation much either. / If the damn thing was on her left we wouldn't have this problem! I could just put the towel under her side and pour instead./

"Yes sir." Riza braced herself for it and held her breath, trying to ignore the feeling Mustang's hips lightly brushing against hers. Roy leaned forward, his hips pressing firmly into hers, and poured the peroxide over the wound small amounts at a time. He clenched his eyes shut at the feeling himself harden even more so from the slight friction. / Please don't notice Hawkeye... Please! /

Hawkeye's mouth dropped open in pain, though not one sound came out. The cool water-like liquid felt good at first, as if numbing the wound, but then it turned to sudden fire. It was as if Mustang was scorching her side in waves of his flaming alchemy. Riza arched her back, her body trying to escape the searing pain. Roy laid a hand softly on her back and pressed her down. "Give it a second." He caressed the skin softly, a cut next to his hand. With one more pour of the peroxide, Mustang patted the wound dry and set the bottle down.

"Are you alright?" He glanced up at Riza, still not moving from his position behind her. Hawkeye's arms trembled slightly as a quiet yet sharp exhale was forced out of her. She panted softly and straightened herself up, glancing down at the wound.

"Y-Yes sir. I'm fine." Riza managed through her somewhat labored breath. Roy looked at her in relief and blinked. / She didn't notice... Oh good.../

"Let's let it air a bit while we do the others." He smiled slightly at her, waiting for her to allow him to continue. Riza sighed and looked down at the floor knowing what needed to happen. /He needs to get to my shoulders and upper back... I can't just let him unravel me bare! That's just... I may have done it once to show him my back but I'm not doing it again!/ Her body stiffened from the thought.

Roy watched his subordinate tense up. "Riza... I won't if you don't want me to..."

Riza couldn't help but bite her lip and clench her eyes shut. "No sir. I can handle the ones up top. Don't worry about it." She glanced up at him, trying to convince herself and him that she could.

• • •

Ed looked up at the clock tiredly and groaned. It was already past nine o'clock and he wanted so badly to just curl up and sleep. He had managed to finish two, foot high stacks of the over-due paperwork, his head aching.

"Brother? Are you ok? You don't look so good..." Alphonse looked up from the job at hand and exchanged glances between Furey and Ed.

"It is quite late. Why don't you boys head on to sleep? I think I have it from here. We got most of it done." The officer struggled through a wide yawn. "Just this last little packet and we're done."

Ed and Al got up and straightened the papers slightly. "We were glad to help. Keep us up to date with Hawkeye alright?" Al nodded in agreement of his brother's statement.

Furey signed off the last sheet and sighed in relief, his hand throbbing. /How Hawkeye and Mustang do it I don't know... / "Sure thing. Havoc and Breda know as well. I-I'll pass on the message." He stood up and made sure all the papers were in the right stack and were filed correctly.

• • •

"What about the one's on your back? You can't reach them." Mustang watched as Riza held the bandages around her top in place with one hand. The slight ache in his groin only grew worse while she bang to unravel them slightly. She sighed and wrapped her arms over her bare chest and dropped her head. / This is just like when I showed him the notes on my back... That was so... Odd feeling.../

Roy gritted his teeth, his now fully hard crotch making him cringe. / Shit... Why the hell am I reacting like this... I didn't do it before when she showed me the notes on her back.../

The cuts and gashes on her back weren't as bad as he first expected. They were just swelled and a bit red. The ones on her shoulders were a bit deeper and still bled slightly. Roy took a deep breath and poured the peroxide over her back, the towel soaking up the excess run off.

Riza's back arched slightly from the sudden sting that washed over her back. / Dammit! Just... Hold still...! / Roy hated every second of it.

"Almost there. Just let it sit." His voice was soft and as comforting, or a comforting as his voice could go. Riza clenched her eyes shut and hissed feeling. Roy looked at her shoulders and swallowed the lump in his throat. /Damn... Those are gonna hurt. They already have the nerves grown back and its open... She is gonna hate me.../ He put a hand on her upper arm and looked at her. "Ready for your shoulders?"

Riza nodded hesitantly and sat up a bit. / This is gonna be awkward... I'm either going to be exposed in front of him or get peroxide all over me... And the cuts on my stomach... And side again... Shit. /

Roy's eye's widened as his subordinate moved her arms away from her chest, a light pink blush covering her face. "Get my shoulders from here. I don't want to get that on my side or back again." Riza shut her eyes, not wanting to see Roy's reaction or to know if he was looking her down. /I cannot believe I am doing this... Just pretend he's not there... He's not right in front of you... Or even in the room... Or the building.../

Roy's mouth dropped open. He couldn't help but scold himself when he felt his groin jolt. / H-How the hell is she just standing there like that... Completely calm... Bare chested in front of me like that? It's like she's not even shy... But wait.../ He looked at her cheeks that were brushed with a lightly pink. Her eyes were clenched tightly with her eyebrows furrowed, clearly uncomfortable about the whole situation. / The lieutenant... Blushing...? I would have never imagined... She's... C-cute when she blushes... Among other things.../ Roy shook his head, trying to clear it of the thoughts that were now buzzing through his head. /Oh stop it! Quit thinking like a pervert! I may be aroused but that's no excuse for my behavior!/

"Here it goes..." He said shakily, wrapping the towel around her upper side. Riza gulped, clearly noticing the long pause. She nodded and tensed up, bracing herself. Roy carefully poured the remaining peroxide over both shoulders, a soft whimper escaping Riza's throat.

"I'm sorry... This is the last one except the one on your leg that you can get yourself." He bit his lip, his eyes traveling down to her naked breasts, only to snap away in embarrassment. / I feel like such a pervert!/

Riza kept her eyes shut until she felt him move away, moving her arms back over her chest. / That was so embarrassing! Being this exposed and weak in front of him is just... Oh I don't know! I don't know what to think or feel! I don't understand this... It's like... I-I'm okay with it but yet... Terrified... /

Roy looked at her sadly and blinked, his groin aching more than it was. / Ignore it... Ignore it...! / He grabbed the bandages and looked down at the ground. / I hate doing this to her but... It's gotta be done... / "Riza...?"

Hawkeye's head shot up and looked at him, her blush deepening noticing what he had been trying so hard to hide. / H-He's... But why? Is it me? I didn't know he felt so strongly about me... Or is it something different? / Roy shut his eyes and sighed. "Let me wrap you up right quick... M-Move your arms. I won't look. I promise." / Dammit... I'm never gonna live this one down... /

Riza looked away and dropped her arms, Roy immediately wrapping her chest. She relaxed a bit knowing she was covered and stayed still as he placed thicker bandages in places over the deeper cuts. "Sir...?"

Roy flinched a bit, fearing she was going to mention something he really didn't want to bring up. "Yes?" He finished wrapping her torso and tucked the end of the bandage securely under a bit of it underneath.

"Thank you."

Roy looked at her oddly, his throbbing groin in the back of his mind. "What...?"

Riza sighed and looked at him. "Thank you for helping me... I guess... I-I... I just wanted to say thank you. That's all."

"There's no need to thank... I'm just taking care of my subordinate..." Roy watched her as she went into her closet and pulled out a grey, fitted but lose, t-shirt then slipped it on carefully. Riza didn't make any eye contact, her mind still running over, wondering why her superior was acting like he was. She'd never seen him in such a 'state' before.

"Yes sir... I'm going to get ready for bed. Would you mind looking after Hayate for me?"

Roy nodded and looked around for the pup. "Hayate..." He called out in a normal tone, walking out of the room.

Riza sat down on her bed after finding a pair of white sweat pants to sleep in. "Colonel..." she whispered to herself, staring at the wall. /Why the hell would he...? Why am I so curious as to why? It's not like we are a future couple.../ She stood up and took off the skirt (butt-cape) and uniform boots and pants, exposing the bandaging around her leg. "Might as well get this over with..." Riza sighed and put the towel under her leg then poured the peroxide over it. / Shit! Hurts worse than the others... It doesn't help that it's nearly all the way around my leg... Damn Lust... / She patted it dry then wrapped it, watching out for Mustang. She slid her sweat pants on carefully, one leg at a time, careful not to strain any of the wounds.

Roy grabbed Hayate's bowl and fixed the pup his dinner. "There you go boy." Black Hayate came trotting into the room, pull rope in his mouth. Roy squatted down and gave him a good pet, occasionally jerking at the rope. "You want to play don't you?" The pup's ears perked, his tail beginning to wag like mad. "Fine... Come on!" Roy jerked the rope out of his mouth and rolled away with it, the pup yipping happily as he pounced on him.

"H-Hey!" Roy chuckled as the pup grabbed a hold of the rope and tugged on it furiously. "Fine... It's on...!"


	5. Chapter 5

A low growl came out of Mustang's throat, his eyes narrowing at the brown ones in front of him, staring directly into his. "Bring it..." he smirked through the pull rope in his mouth. Hayate jerked at it a bit with a snort of determination. Roy was on his hands and knees on the hardwood floor, his hands the only thing keeping him still from the pup's relentless jerking. He bit down harder on the rope, determined not to let the pup win. Hayate pinned his ears back and growled softly. Roy began to crawl backwards, dragging the rope and black and white pup with him.

Riza sighed and washed the make-up off of her face, looking back at the mirror sadly. /I guess I did get torn up.../ She ran her fingers lightly over the cut on her cheek, looking at the scrapes on her chin and forehead and the gash above her eye, her fingers trembling from the memories of what had happened. The sound of Roy and Hayate made her glance behind her, realizing how much she was out of it. / I can hardly think straight.../ Riza sighed and turned off the light in the bath room, walking out into her bedroom. All the lights were off, all except the bed side lamp which was barely lit. It was dim but still gave her a slight headache from the light. "Things just can never be simple or quiet anymore...", she muttered under her breath as she grabbed her book and carefully crawled up onto the bed, laying on top of the covers. Her eyes shot to the open door, hearing growls of two separate tones, a small smile appearing on her face. / At least Hayate has someone to play with.../

"Get back here! N-not that rope! N-no! Not the uniform!" Riza blinked and tilted her head a bit. / I wonder if he will stay tonight... W-What! W-why am I thinking that!/ She looked away, grasping her book tightly. / He's my superior officer... Nothing more, nothing less. I just have to protect him from harm. That's it! / Swallowing the lump in her throat, she glanced back to the door watching hayate run into her room, flying under the beg with a long yellow, all too recognizable rope. Riza blinked and raised an eyebrow.

"You little... shit...!" Roy growled and ran past the doorway. "Where did you go?" He leaned up against the doorframe and dropped his head, panting.

Riza bookmarked her page in the book and got up carefully, her newly bandaged wounds pulling. Hayate peeked his head out from under the bed and looked up at Hawkeye happily. A sigh escaped Riza's throat, shaking her head. "Hayate..." She bent down to grab him by the collar just as he bolted back under the bed. / Dammit... Not tonight... Please...?/

Roy's eyes widened watching her, fearful she was hurting herself. "D-Do you want me to get him?"

Riza shot him an eat-shit glare and snorted. "Sir, give me a chance." Roy swallowed the worrisome lump in his throat.

"Yes Lieutenant..." Something was tell Mustang to stop her but he knew her pride was everything to her. / She doesn't have to go through this alone and hurt.. Why can't she understand...?/

Riza got down on her hands and knees, looking under the bed for Hayate. The soft sound of his tail thumping on the floor was all she could make out. "Come here boy... Please?"

Roy's heart lurched hearing the almost begging tone come from his subordinate. The last time he had heard that was when she requested him to burn her father's research off of her back during the Ishval War.

Hayate's small yip came from out from underneath the bed. He had no intention of coming out. "Black Hayate... Come... Here...!" Hawkeye's growl was harsh making the pup's eyes widen. He whimpered and crawled back further.

Roy walked to the other side of the bed, securing his glove on his hand. / Show you mess with Hawkeye when she's hurt... Little shit.../ He conspicuously figured out the pup's location and snapped. "Hawkeye, move."

Riza's head popped up and looked at Roy. "What do you mean-?" A terrified yelp echoed through the room along with the slight scent of smoke, Hayate shooting out from under the bed. The pup had his tail tucked between his legs shaking.

"Colonel!" Hawkeye glared at Roy, trying to hide his gloves in his pockets. He smiled embarrassedly. / Well that went over well like a ton of bricks Roy! Ehehe... She won't hurt you in her state-/ Before Roy had time to think, Riza had him pinned back against the bed, completely ignoring the pain and tearing in her side and other wounds. "How dare you! You do not hurt Hayate!"

Roy's eyes widened, Riza nearly being nose to nose with him. His whole body tensed up, not even wanting to try to get away knowing it was useless to struggle. "Y-Yes M-Ma'am...!" /Oh god! What on earth? How is she able to be this strong in her state?/

"Don't let me catch you doing that again..." She narrowed her eyes at him, her arms beginning to tremble, obviously her body too rage filled to register the pain. Her sides were heaving and her teeth were bared, her grip tightening on his wrists, refusing to falter.

Roy gulped nodded quickly, his hands beginning to loose circulation. He didn't dare take his eyes off of hers, his head sinking into the mattress trying to move away. "I-I'm sorry Lieutenant...!"

Riza nodded kept glaring at him, her whole body beginning to shake. / Why did I do this...? Damn this hurts.../ She felt her side and other wound beginning to heat up in pain. "Dammit!" Riza yelped out breathlessly as her arms gave way, her lips crashing on to Roy's beneath her.

Roy's eyes widened, his heart stopping. His mind went blank yet processing a million things at once. His body was telling him to pull away but his mind was telling him to stay put.

Riza couldn't move if she even wanted to. Her body wouldn't let her from the shock of pain and the unannounced contact. She felt her body almost relaxing on top of her superior, her stomach beginning to clench. /W-Why aren't I pulling away? W-Why isn't he pulling away? He wouldn't want me... He has all those other women all over him... I'm just his subordinate. Nothing more.../ She began to pull away, her body shaking.

Roy couldn't help finding himself wondering why she was pulling away. / W-What...? W-Why is she...? B-But why don't I want her to pull away...? I mean I know we are really close but... Are we this close...?/ He sat up slowly, his hand hesitantly cupping her cheek. / I-Is she ok with this? I-I know we are strictly business but... I-I.../

Riza's throat clamped shut from her Colonel's actions. Her heart was beating as if she had run a marathon, her blush just adding to the look. / Sir! W-What are you doing? W-We can't! Y-You would never want me! I'm still chaste! I'm not the woman you want! I'm your subordinate...! B-But... I-I'll take a bullet for you... I-I'd do anything.../ She felt a shaky hand on her cheek; shaking being something Roy never did. / W-Why are you shaking? You never shake. I'm the one that is supposed to be shaking! / And that she was. She didn't dare move away though her mind was telling her to with all of its strength. / W-What if he wants this? I-I can't possibly hurt him by backing away... B-but... Shouldn't I be the one backing away? Am I falling for him after all of these years...?/

Roy was scared to death, though he would never admit it. He could feel how timid and nervous Riza was under his light touch on her cheek. / I can't do this to her... I just can't... She's shaking worse than me... She's hurting and scared... I just can't do this to her.../ He pressed his lips firmly back against hers one last time before hesitantly backing away. / What on earth could she be thinking of me right now? Does she hate me? Will she tell? My reputation and our job is on the line... But she would never do that to me. Would she? I've been with her for so long. We know each other inside and out. Or has she changed? Oh god please tell me she doesn't hate me... Oh please, oh please!/

Riza felt Roy's lips leave hers, her eyes widening. / W-What was that Sir...?/ "C-Colonel..." she hardly managed out. Roy swallowed the lump in his throat fearing the worst. / She hates me... / His heart began to sink as he adverted his eyes away from hers.

• • •

"Why the hell would you let the Elrics know Fuery?" Breda pinched the bridge of his nose and shook his head. He had a head ache from the noise of the bar and the completely drunk Havoc next to him.

Furey flinched and looked taken back. "T-They over heard us I think... I-I couldn't just-"

"You quite possibly just got all of us fired! Don't you understand what you have done? They are going to stick their nose into the investigation and go on more of their so called 'leads' then get us fired for running his mouth! Ed doesn't know when to stop talking Kain!"

Havoc flicked Breda's ear, getting a short growl from the man. "Aw quit bein' so hard on the little runt!"

With a hard shove, Havoc was sent falling off his chair, laughing drunkly. "That wasn't nice Breda...! You can only do that when we're all drunk!"

"Shut up. You're still in uniform. Act as such." Breda stood up and sighed. "What is done is done. No going back now..." He looked down at Havoc and nudged him with the toe of his boot. "Who knew you were such a pest when drunk... Come on. Help me get this drunkard back to his barracks Fuery."

Furey shot up to his feet and knelt down to grab Havoc's feet while Breda got his shoulders. "Idiot..." Kain looked away, scared he had, in fact ruined their plan. /I couldn't just say that she hurt herself! That's not like Hawkeye! They would have never believed me! /

The two carried the drunken solider outside, both of them sick and tired of his blabbering. "I can walk guys! I'm all gooood!" Havoc chuckled out though a few hiccups.

"Shut it you imbecile."

• • •

"Al, don't you think that we should-"

"Don't even say it brother. We can't. It isn't our place!" Alphonse couldn't help be want to help but he knew they would only get in the way. Ed watched the ground as they walked up to their barracks.

"It doesn't mean we can sit around while people get hurt..." The short blond mumbled out. "I'm sick and tired of watching people get hurt because of something WE uncovered and stirred up..." Ed stopped in front of their door, his head dropped. "That's why we learned alchemy... To help others Al... It's all we weak insignificant humans can do." He looked up at his brother, his eyes trembling. "We have to help her... We are responsible for bringing the military into this mess with the homunculi. One killed Hughes. I'm not letting another kill the lieutenant."

Alphonse looked at his brother and tilted his head. "Brother...We can't-"

"We can dammit!" Ed balled his fist and shook from frustration. "If you don't want to thats your choice. I will help her, even if it means being nice to the Colonel..." He looked up at the door and sighed. "Come on. Let's get inside."

• • •

Riza looked at Roy, not scared but worried. She rarely saw him in the state he was in. "Colonel I..." Roy looked up at her like a scolded dog, trying to hold himself together. /I messed up... I messed up big time.../ "I-It's fine. Don't worry about it. It was my fault." The colonel's heart sank. / Why on earth am I disappointed...? We aren't lovers. People may say we are an item but we're not. But then why am I acting like this? I already got turned on and now I kiss her? What the hell is she thinking of me right now...? I look like a fool.../ He looked down sadly and balled his fists. Riza couldn't help but feel bad for him. She just didn't know how to react. She tried her hardest to push herself off of him, a small whimper escaping her throat. /I can't show him I'm weak. I just can't! He'd think horrible of me... It's already bad enough that I am basically rejecting his affection./

Roy's eyes widened in fear as she moved. /Oh don't hurt yourself...!/ He put a hand on her shoulder as he sat up and helped her up. "Be careful Lieutenant..." / I can't help but worry about her.../

Riza hated accepting his help but didn't complain. "I'm trying sir." She swallowed and took her place beside him. Roy blinked and looked at her worriedly, watching her every move. Riza just looked down at the floor trying to process what happened.

Roy glanced at her occasionally before standing up and trying to straighten up himself. "Get some rest..." He looked at her sudden almost panic stricken eyes and felt a pang of sadness in his chest. He wanted so desperately to make that fear go away but he was just as scared. Riza looked up at him and blinked, unsure whether to say anything or not. / I just... I don't know... Would I be known as a slut for asking him to stay...? If the higher-ups found out we'd be fired for sure.../

"I-I'll try..." she stuttered out, making Roy think twice about walking towards the door. He blinked and motioned to the bed with his eyes. Riza got the idea and curled up, holding her pillow.

Roy hated seeing her in such a state. He tucked her in and sat next to her. "You'll be ok alone tonight?" Hearing the error in his words, Roy looked away with a slight blush over his cheeks. "Not like that I mean like... Are you going to be ok? I-I'm sorry."

Riza looked up at him, trying to find a comfortable position for her wounds. She held on to her pillow a bit tighter and let out a soft sigh. "I should be. Go on back to your barracks. I've kept you way too long."

Roy couldn't help but feel a bit of sadness pierce him in the heart. "Of course lieutenant." He gave her one last quick glance before turning away and heading out of the room. / How could I be so foolish?/ Roy dropped his head and watched the floor.

Riza shut her eyes and took a deep breath, her mind still reeling with Roy's behavior. / What on earth...? I-I've never been kissed before...or touched like that... W-What was he doing...? Why would he do that...? I hate to say it but... I-It was nice... Stop it Riza! Just stop it! He's your superior officer! Nothing more than that! I have no feeling for him other than protecting him! Nothing more!/ She mentally cursed herself and shut off the light and holding her pillow tighter.

Roy glanced back at Hawkeye's room and blinked as the light flickered off. "Good night to you too..." he mumbled sadly and opened the door. /She hates me... I can feel it.../ Quietly shutting the door he walked back to his barracks that was in the next hall over.

• • •

Ed got his key out of his pocket and glanced down at the colonel opening his door, their eyes meeting for a moment. /I guess Al was right... He does look a bit rougher than usual.../ He could see the unease and worry in Roy's eyes. /Is the lieutenant that bad off...? He doesn't ever show his concern for anyone unless its bad.../ Unlocking the door, he stepped in and immediately flopped down on the bed. Al followed a bit behind him and shut the door behind them, watching Ed.

• • •

Roy reached into his pocket searching for his keys hearing Ed and Al, a few doors down, unlocking and heading into theirs. He looked to them, Ed's eyes meeting his once before going inside. /Something isn't right with Ed... He looks like he did when that chimera girl was killed.../ He narrowed his eyes and found the right key on the ring to unlock the door.

Roy flipped on a subdued light and shut the door behind him, a small creak coming from the door's hinges. He locked it and shed his uniform jacket, hanging it on the hook near the door. With a quick glance at the clock, Roy looked down, a hand still on his coat on the hook. "I'm so sorry Riza... So sorry..." He furrowed his brow and clenched his eyes shut, feeling his emotions getting the best of him. "It was all my fault... Please forgive me..." His hand slipped off the hook as he let out a small snort of sadness and worry. / I just can't stand leaving you in that scared state like that... / Roy blinked his eyes open, an expression of utter defeat and sadness crossing his face, as he started towards a small cabinet, squatting down to open it. A few bottles of liquor and glasses lined the two shelves with in it. He grabbed a glass and set it on the top of the cabinet. "god... How old is this thing...?" Roy tilted his head slightly and ran his finger over a label of a bottle. 1908..." A small smile came over his face as he grabbed it. /First bottle I bought... 16 cens... Tch... I wish it was like that now.../ "Costs something like 24 now..." He unscrewed the top and poured himself a glass then sat down at the small table that was for the most part cleared off. /I just can't see why everything now a days has to go wrong... It's so simple to fix... Get rid of the homunculi and install more a democratic type of government... That would solve so much yet... No. It would cause more protests against the voting and the people would get greedy... There really is no right way to do this is there...?/ Roy let out a small sigh and sipped on his liquor, watching the sky out the window. A few clouds shrouded the moon's light and sky, a slight breeze shaking the bare branches of the trees. / Its going to rain isn't it...?/ He looked down at his glass and then back at the sky sadly. "Perfect timing... I'll be useless and defenseless... My back will be wide open..." Roy finished off his glass and ran his fingers through his hair, leaning back against his chair. / Alone again... I can't defend the ones I love... It's like I'm always restrained... "Don't even try it Pony-boy. It's useless! Just like you in the rain! She's gonna pay for your stubbornness for not helping us. All because you want to be stubborn! Get over it!" / Envy's word's echoed in Roy's head, making him shutter at the truth of the words. Tears pricked the edges of his eyes at the memory of Riza's wails, knowing all too well they were crying out to him. He clenched his eyes shut and balled his fist trying to rid himself of the heartbreaking cries. /And I couldn't even protect her! I couldn't do it! She was hurt, almost dead! She could have been killed... And I couldn't do anything to help her!/ Roy's heart lurched, tears falling from his eyes. He rested his forehead on his arms, trembling. /"Leave her alone!" ..."Shut up and watch! I want to let you hear her cries of pain!"/ Roy just gave up trying to hold back, letting himself truly cry for the first time since his childhood. "A-And then I do all of th-this to her tonight...? Oh god...! Don't hate me Riza! Please! I-I'm so sorry! So sorry...!"


	6. Chapter 6

With a long tired yawn, Hawkeye sat up painfully and rubbed her eye, using her other hand to keep her propped up. /Damn... What time is it...?/ She glanced at the clock, her eyes instantly widening. "Oh shit!" Her side pulled as she shot out of bed and towards the bathroom. /Oh Mustang is going to kill me!/ She grabbed her brush and ripped it through her hair as fast as she could, the knots getting stuck at the ends. "Shit...!" Riza yanked the brush through them, making a face at the pain of it. She tied her hair up quickly in her normal up-do and covered the cuts on her face and neck with makeup and powder. She held her side as she patted the powder in place. She felt her side beginning to heat up, fresh blood beginning the well up in the wound. /Dammit...!/ Riza gritted her teeth and gripped her side tightly. "Should I change it...?"

Hayate sat at the foot of her bed watching her tilting his head. A small whimper came from his throat, his eyes wide and his belly hungry. "One second boy." Riza shot off towards her closet to grab her uniform, which of course, was no where to be found. "Dammit! Where did he put it!" She rummaged through her closet, drawers, even under her bed. /Where the hell would he have put it?/ Hayate yipped frustratedly and whined. "Hayate! Shush!" Riza got up and held her head. "Where the hell is it?"

• • •

Roy yawned and walked through the hall towards the stairs. /I hope I don't look too bad.../ He stopped at a window, seeing a bit of his reflection. /Good... I thought my eyes were going to be puffy... Guess I was lucky on that one./ With a short sigh he started through the last hallway before the steps. "Hawkeye..." Roy's eyes instinctively found her door and blinked. /Should I check up on her? O-Or... No. She wouldn't... Not after last night.../ He felt a heat well up in his chest, his eyes trying to become watery. "Oh forget it... She hates me..." Roy took a deep breath a forced himself forward, his throat clenching in guilt and worry. / I can't just... Dammit! She doesn't want my help. Just forget it Roy. Just forget it.../ He shook his head and walked past her door. /I'll see her at the office.../

• • •

Riza was just about fed up looking for her uniform. "Where the hell would it be?" Hayate just sat by his bowl watching her frantically look for her uniform. He let out a short whine, Hawkeye turning to glare at the pup. "Hush! I'll get you breakfast in a moment! Cool it!" Riza ran into her bath room and sighed in relief. The bottom half of her uniform drape over the shower curtain, folded thankfully. /Well that's part of it... Now I just need the jacket.../ With a painful yelp, she quickly slipped the pants and skirt (butt-cape) on, fastening the buttons in place. She rushed into her closet to pull out a tight black turtleneck, carefully yet rushed, putting it on over her head and tucking it in. "Okay... The jacket." /Wait... Didn't Roy hang it on the chair? Oh just forget it!/ Riza quickly ran into the small kitchen to get Hayate's morning meal. She set the full bowl down and grabbed her room key. "Dammit..." She glanced down at her side, it luckily being flat with Roy's tight wrapping. "Good..." With a quick leap to the door, Hawkeye stopped. /Dammit!/ She quickly ran back to her bedside table and grabbed her gun and holster, fastening it onto the two buttons on the front of the skirt. "Ok...!" She grabbed Hayate's leash, the pup's eyes widening. He yipped and swallowed the last of his breakfast. "Come on. I am so late. You can get Havoc to walk you when we get to the office." Riza opened the door, pulling the pup with her at a painful trot. /God this hurts! Just shake it off! Shake it off!/ She shook her head and looked down at the loping pup at her side. "Good boy...!" The two rounded the corner and bounded up the stairwell, oblivious to the other officers heading down them.

"L-Leutienent! Watch it!" One of them managed out, being plastered to the railing and wall.

Riza let out an irritated growl, loud enough for them to hear, making them shut their mouths quickly. /Watch your mouth! I'm not just another officer of lower rank. Idiots... How did we get such a pathetic staff...? I can see why Mustang is so upset all the time now. They have no respect./ She pushed forward, Hayate now dragging her up the stairs. As they both reached the level in which the office was on, Riza opened the door and panted, her sides heaving. /Damn I'm out of shape... I used to be able to do that all the time without even as an increased heart beat. Damn!/ She took a deep breath as Hayate sat down beside her, his curled tail wagging slightly. When she finally caught her breath and stood up straight, Riza collected Hayate's leash in her hand, a small yelp of pain escaping her throat. /Damn those cuts...!/

"Lieutenant!" Riza's head shot straight up.

• • •

Roy twisted the knob of the door to his office, a small creak escaping its hinges. /Well time to get to work... Again.../ He took a seat at his desk which was scattered with over due paperwork strewn in every direction. Havoc, Fuery, and Breda sat at their own large table and just watched him. Roy twiddled the pen between his fingers, tapping slightly on the desk. He sighed and picked up a nearly bursting folder of paperwork, swallowing the guilt that had welled up in his throat from the night before. Sliding the contents of the folder out before him, the colonel started looking through them, his eyes distance as if focused on something else. They were dull with the whites of his eyes being a light shade of pink, having barely any sleep the night before. Roy just started signing where he saw the 'X's, letting his muscle memory do everything for him, his mind elsewhere. The officers exchanged glances, all thinking the same thing. There was no doubt in their minds that their superior was acting different.

"Hey, Breda...! ...Breda...!" Havoc nudged him under the table and looked at him. His harsh whisper slightly getting Roy's attention. Roy just acted as if he was working and wasn't paying any attention, which his mind was hardly doing.

Breda just hissed a bit at the lieutenant. "What...! Quit that...! What...!"

"He seems upset, don't you think?" Havoc whispered, looking back at Roy through the edge of his eye. Breda just blinked and thought for a moment.

"He's just his normal self. How can you say he's different?" Havoc just shook his head at the officer.

"Never mind Breda..." he sighed and looked back that the Colonel. Roy made eye contact with him for a moment then went back to work.

• • •

Edward blinked and looked at the Lieutenant in front of him. "L-Lieutenant Hawkeye? Are you alright?" He glanced down at Hayate's bright eyes and then to Hawkeye.

Riza just let out a sharp breath and nodded, dusting herself off of imaginary dirt or debris. "Of course Edward. Why shouldn't I be?" She bit her tongue hating having to lie to the boy. She never liked to lie but in some cases, it had to be done.

The short blonde tilted his head slightly, knowing the full extent of her injuries and what had happened to her. He had to play the innocent little boy that most people thought he was. "Oh. You just seemed a bit on edge and rushed. I was just curious."

Riza swallowed and gathered Hayate's lead in both hands, adverting her eyes from him. "I'm fine Edward. Don't worry about me." She took a step forward, only to get intercepted and stopped by Ed's arm. "Edward. I'm late. I need to go."

The little alchemist stood firm in front of her, his eyes sternly looking directly into hers. Something about his gaze made Riza back a step. /To be so small, boy can he pack a punch.../

• • •

Roy let out a long yawn, glancing at the clock out of the corner of his eye, his worry beginning to surface. /It's not like her to be nearly 30 minutes late.../ He shook his head and looked up. "Havoc, Breda, Fuery... Any of you seen Lieutenant Hawkeye?"

The three officers blinked and shook their heads, trying their hardest not to worry themselves.

Roy put his head in the palms of his hands and nodded in acknowledgment. /Should I go look for her? I left her in a bit of a shaken state last night... L-Last night.../ He looked down sadly and swallowed the lump in his throat. / Is she upset with me after that...? I-I can't believe I did that to her... She was terrified. I could see that and yet... I just brushed it off... I'm so sorry Hawkeye.../ He clenched his eyes together tightly, the three other officers taking notice of the colonel's behavior.

"S-Sir...? I-Is something the matter?"

Roy's eyes shot to the voice. "Fuery... I-I'm fine." He looked away and shook his head, trying desperately to hide the tears that pricked the edges of his eyes.

Fuery looked to Breda and Havoc with a worried expression. They both blinked in concern and watched their superior.

"Don't worry about me. Get that report done." Mustang swallowed and stood up. "Now if you will excuse me..." Without another word, he walked out of the office and out into the halls. He put his hands in his pockets and watched the floor as he walked.

His short tone made the three look to one another, confusion and a slight fear in their eyes. They waited till the door was completely shut before even moving, breathing, or speaking.

"Something is eating at him you see!" Havoc somewhat snapped at the other two officers.

Breda and Fuery blinked, glancing between the door and Havoc. "He has a point Breda. Maybe he just didn't sleep well." Fuery spoke, watching the door for any signs of the dark eyed colonel.

"That can't be it! He sleeps all day and does absolutely nothing but go down and eat lunch down in the mess hall! How could he be tired?" Havoc's eye twitched as he clenched his hands into fists.

Breda sighed in irritation and rested his chin in his hand. "Havoc... Shut up. You're still buzzing from that drunk state you were in last night. We know he's upset. Calm down. There's nothing we can do about it."

Fuery glanced at the usually occupied seat at the end of the desk. "Do you think something may have happened to Hawkeye again?" At that, the other two officers stopped and looked at Fuery. "I-I mean, if you think about it... He got like this after all this happened... He was a bit better yesterday with the lieutenant here. S-Something must have happened..."

Havoc and Breda exchanged glances while Fuery pointed to the door. "He probably went to look for her. Didn't you two see how he reacted just now when the subject of the lieutenant came up?" The dark haired officer blinked at the two men in front of him.

"He has a point..."

• • •

Roy shut the office door behind him and felt the tears welling up in his eyes. He pinched the bridge of his nose, desperately trying to get a hold of himself. /Deep breaths Roy... Deep breaths. Slow down... She's fine./ With a deep shaky breath, he started forward, swallowing against the lump in his throat. He sniffled and shook his head, slipping his hands into his pockets. Roy fiddled with the watch in his pocket, clicking it open and closed repeatedly. The sound of the clicking of his heels against the marble floor and watch were all that sounded. /I'm an alchemist... I am to protect the weak and ones in need... I couldn't even protect you... My lieutenant... Of all people. I couldn't even protect her.../ He looked down and tightened his grip on the sliver pocket watch, furrowing his brows in frustration. /I guess this is how Fullmetal felt about that chimera girl... I understand.../

A soft sigh escaped the colonel's lips, staring at the motionless silent halls in front of him. Not one person was there, nor outside. "Still in bed or late... Sorry excuses for soldiers..." Roy shook his head and turned towards the hall leading to the stair way. /Only one soldier has a valid excuse to be late and or to sleep and she's not them./ He just kept walking, his steps becoming slower and more of a struggle the closer he got to the stairwell heading up to the next floor.

Roy perked as he heard an all to familiar voice. /Damn you Fullmetal... I have to deal with you now... Wonderful. You are the last person I want to run into right now./ He rounded the corner to the stairwell, more irritated than anything. "Fullmetal... Aren't you supposed to be gone-"

• • •

Riza glanced in the direction of her superior's voice, a sudden wave of relief coming over her. /Oh thank god.../ Edward growled and narrowed his eyes at the dark eyed man, his temper instantly rising. Roy's eyes widened as he caught sight of his lieutenant, cornered by the short blonde.

"Oh hello there colonel." He spat out with a smart-ass tone. "What brings you here?"

Roy made his way beside his lieutenant and glared at the angry little elf of a state alchemist, Hawkeye pretty much gluing to the colonel's side the moment he was beside her. He looked at her softly, tuning Ed out to an extent. /Thank god I found you.../ Hawkeye looked up at him and blinked, her heart still beating rapidly from the sprint up stairs. Her eyes said it all to him. She was hiding the pain and fear behind them. Roy gently put his hand on her back trying to calm her the best he could. He watched her eyes soften a bit, feeling the bandages underneath her shirt. /Where's your uniform jacket...?/ He sighed and looked back at Fullmetal, his soft eyes instantly turning to stone. "First off, watch your tone! Do you want me to strip you of that certification I offered you? I can take it back at any moment I please!"

Ed held his tongue, his fists clenching tighter in anger. /How dare he! Why I oughta-!/ A soft growl still resonated from his throat, glaring daggers at the colonel.

"Second of all I came to retrieve my lieutenant from your harassment. I don't appreciate this type of behavior towards my subordinates. It's uncalled for Fullmetal." Roy growled his name in irritation. /This boy is just unruly. Why the hell did I even offer him state certification?/

Riza did her best not to be too obvious about being near Roy. /Ed was about to ask me what was wrong! I have no doubt! Thank god you came along sir! Thank you!/ She swallowed and looked up at Mustang, his hand still on her back, luckily between wounds and bandages.

"Let's get you to the office lieutenant." Roy glared at Ed as he guided Hawkeye away from him. /You damn runt. The nerve of you!/ He moved his hand off of her as they moved away from of the boy, hoping he hadn't noticed the touch. Riza just looked down and tried her hardest to stand straight, her knees shaking. Her side was on fire along with every joint and muscle in her body.

Ed watched them go and narrowed his eyes, wanting so desperately to snap at them both. /Colonel Lazy Ass is just an ass and the lieutenant is just an idiot for even trying to come to work, let alone protecting that bastard!/ He watched Roy's hand closely, noticing how he moved it when he locked eyes with him in a confused glare of hatred.

Roy and Hawkeye rounded a corner, walking down a long hallway, and stopped, Roy making sure no one was around. Riza looked at him, just about to collapse, her eyes shaking. "S-Sir..."

The colonel's eyes widened seeing how shaken and weak she really was. "Sit. You need to get off your feet." He leaned up against the wall and took her hand.

Riza flinched, the cuts on her hands sore as could be. /Sir... W-What...?/ She felt him slowly sliding down the wall to sit, dragging her down with him. "Lieutenant... Please... Be careful." Roy's voiced cracked slightly, looking at her hands, the bandages somewhat bloodied and wrinkled. He dug around in his pocket, bringing out a small handkerchief.

Riza just watched him, her hand remaining in his lightly. /I've never seen him like this before... Why is he so... Worried...? I-It't not like him.../ Roy ran his thumb over the bandages on her hand, everything about him saddening.

"You're not out of the woods just yet lieutenant... You are still hurt and vulnerable." He carefully unwrapped her hand, holding the small handkerchief in between his fingers.

Hawkeye just watched him with her hand. She was still amazed that the colonel, the flame alchemist, the one that cremated Ishval, the one that could incinerate a human with no traces of evidence left to show, could be so gentle. "I know sir... Just... Someone has to look after you in my absence, and no one is to my standard to protect you. I'm the only one that can do it correctly."

Roy stood, not letting her hand out of his, and leaned up against the water fountain that was drilled into the wall, making the water trickle out of the spout. "Don't worry about me lieutenant. You need to worry about yourself. I'll be fine." He moistened the rag in the water and sat back down beside her.

"I still worry sir. No one else seems to get you to listen or do your work when I'm not around. You always seem to find yourself in trouble." Riza adverted her eyes from him, wanting desperately to ball her fist, knowing all it would do is hurt and put Mustang into a panic. /W-Why are you being like this sir? I-I.../

"I... Don't worry about me. I get by." Roy blotted the cut on her hand softly, squeezing it a bit to let the water run through it. Riza just blinked and looked at him, the pain in her hand seemingly invisible to his touch.

"But sir-"

"I get by lieutenant." Roy cut her off, careful of his tone. "Give me a chance." Riza looked away, feeling herself heat up, taking his words as if he was scolding her.

"Y-Yes sir." Roy ran the pad of his thumb over her scraped knuckles and down her fingers, guilt welling up in his chest.

"I'm so sorry Lieutenant... I never meant for this to happen..."

Riza blinked and looked at him. His normally strong and determined eyes were now just a pool of grief and sorrow. /Why on earth... W-why are you worried over something that was not your fault? I-I'm the one that stuck my nose into your business. If they hadn't got me they would have hurt you... I couldn't have that./ Her knuckles and hands were still very tender and sensitive, her hand and brows flinching under the colonel's light touch.

Roy looked at her, tears brimming his eyes. /J-Just do it... She needs to hear it.../ "I-I'm sorry lieutenant... I-It was wrong of me to do what I did to you last night... W-Will you ever forgive me?"

Riza blinked and looked at her hand in his. /I have haven't I...? N-No! Don't think like that! He's your superior Riza! Nothing more!/ She swallowed, her fingers hesitantly wrapping around his. /But I can't help it... I can't stand seeing you like this.../ "Sir..."

Roy's eyes widened feeling his subordinates hand tighten around his. He exchanged glances between her hand around his and her. /W-What are you doing lieutenant?/

"Don't worry about it. It's behind us. You didn't mean it." Hawkeye squeezed his hand, wincing a bit from the cuts on her hands.

Roy swallowed, a small tear rolling down his cheek. /B-But... I did mean it.../ "Y-Yes lieutenant." He looked down at his crossed legs, feeling a gentle hand on his cheek, wiping away his tears.

"Colonel..." Riza squeezed his hand again, trying her best to ignore the pain. Roy looked at her, his head hung. "You need to worry about bigger things than what happened. This country needs your strength right now."

"But I need to destroy those damn homunculi that hurt you first. They deserve the worst death possible for what they did to you." With a shaky breath, he took her arm in his free hand, it trembling in the memory of what had happened. "God knows what the after effects of that liquid stone will do to you..."

Riza stiffened and gripped his hand tighter, her cuts pulling and fear shooting through her. "I-I thought Lust said there were no side-effects..." Her eyes widened, trembling slightly.

Roy gripped her hand gently and wrapped an arm around her shoulder. "I-I didn't mean to scare you... Slow down lieutenant." /I-I didn't mean to bring it up like that! God I cant do anything right around you anymore.../

Riza nearly glued to him, her throat closing tightly, ready to run if need be. She pressed up against him shaking. /W-What if it d-deforms me...? O-Or worse... K-Kills me? W-Will I turn into a stone? O-Oh god! Or one of them? What if I become a homunculus like them?/ She began to hyperventilate in worry and angst, Roy's grip tightening around her shoulders.

"Lieutenant..." He nuzzled his head against hers, trying his best to calm her down without being too lovey-dovey with her. "Nothings going to hurt you. I'm not going to let you get hurt. As long as I'm still alive, you aren't going to get hurt. I won't allow it." Roy furrowed his brow in frustration and guilt. "I can't lose you..."

Riza clenched her hands together and around his, staring wide-eyed at the floor. The only thing she could thing about was the lab. Nothing was even computing with her. No sound. No touch. No sight. Nothing. /I-I don't want to become a stone! I-I don't want to die! N-No!/

Roy gritted his teeth, hating seeing her in such a state. /Twice she's gone unresponsive this week... And it was around me... What am I doing to her?/ He wrapped his arms around her, still keeping a grasp on her hand. "Lieutenant..." His voice was just about to crack, trying his hardest not to lose control. "Please slow down..."

Riza trembled, her grasp on his hand making the cut reopen, her blood seeping out onto his hand. She shut her eyes tightly, refusing to loose control like she had last time. /N-No! I wont do it! I'm stronger that this!/

Roy pulled her in closer, "Lieutenant..." Riza shook and stayed plastered to him. Her trembling body couldn't help but ache from the wounds that Lust had so given her. Roy held her hand in his and held her close. /God she's going to kill me.../ He couldn't help but kiss her temple, heating up in fear of scaring her more.

Riza stopped and looked down at the floor. /C-Colonel.../


End file.
